uhhmm.. i dont even know how to start..
but i guess this word wont stop resound in my mind..
HELLO! im back
writing.
life is getting bored you know. and i am getting older. what to do? what will be? wich one to choose? what to decide? that questions turning my head and sometime make me sick. this collage things like wont let me live a life peacely.
but oh, dont take it seriously. i just said it for myself. however, that is a price i should pay to a better life, isn't it?
came upon two days ago when i was lying low lazily in my bad and connect my laptop to internet. i was stalking someone's profile on twitter and find an interesting conversation with link ask.fm/blablabla. with no doubt i click that link and scrolling down and down the screen and read their conversation. and oh, i think i miss my ask.fm account. so i swiftly type my username in a search column. and hey, i found an account with a cute vintage flower backround. that's mine.
"hey there old account" my heart yelling. i re-read all my answer of questions on my profile. hey that's tickled me so much. how come i be so THAT cool. lol. the way i response all question was so... calm. i did it. and next this corious feeling come. "re-actived my account sounds fun" my heart wishpered. so i click the log in button and type my username and, wait.. i forget my password! this dramatical trouble come ruin my nostalgic thought. "okay, calm down" i keep think and remember what is it the password. i've tried for many times but that red crappy line reads: 'incorrect username or password' nonetheless appear. i curse myself. and give up. bye!
but no. i myself can't understand how could i am so exited about this one. i try it in the next morning. try all word that possible to. and finaly i got the right one! "oh thanks god, i'm so exited now". i open my profile, ohh. it's been 11 month since the last time i answering question. and i got 87 questions on my notification. WOW.
i read it one by one. smiling, thinking how to answer. scroling down and down.. and one question catch my attention.
apakah kamu fans anizabella?
i thinking for a while. i never tell anybody about anizabella. to anyone or any social media. and come on, who cares? i dont think that anyone could that detail. unless she/he is read my old entry on my blog. where i was told about my idols. in other words this Mr or Miss Anonimous is my blogwalker. i wondering who is this person.
i answer the question. and it flashbacking my memories. reason why i made an ask.fm account, reason why i start writing, and who told me what 'share' mean realy is. yep, it's anizabella. and i relize our relationship is getting distant. all i know she was bussy with her collage thing in Brisbane. and she have a relationship with a famaous indonesian stand up comedian. wich mean, she would rather talk and dating with her boyfriend than write her thought in an old social media. like blog(?). and last i know she protect her instagram accout. so the only one media i can stalk is her twitter. just like first time i know her. she rarely tweeting something, but she change her avatar periodecally. and it's enough to sign that she is okay.
and guess what? tonight i found she is tweeting something about wordpress. and know what? she has changed her domain from blogspot to wordpress. and recently posting her very new entry!!! ohh i can feel this butterfly in my stomach! she titled it as The Buzz. and i amazed, as always. she clearly know how to describe my feeling and answer my anxiety.
in this entry i want to say thanks to Anizabella Lesmana whether she read or not.
thanks for back writing, thanks for always giving me confidence to share my thought.
keep writing, please and thank you.
love, N.
xx
